i like it on it's own. tell me what you think of just this and the rest will come... very soon(well, ish. I'm working on it).
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Leila spun until she fell, dancing circles in the hatchback of my father's orange Chevy. It should have hurt, but it didn't. You could tell just to glance at her, even if you weren't me and you didn't know her like the lyrics to your favorite song. Nothing hurt her. She was lying flat on her back, laughing. Her hair had more light in it than the streetlamps on the corner, and she was wearing the torn yellow tank-top she'd snuck out in and the glasses she'd taken from my face.
Leila was untouchable.
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5 comments:
how can leila be spinning in a hatchback? at first i figured she was a dog. maybe i have the wrong idea what a hatchback is. oh well.
after that i loved it. just loved it. the detail about her hair and the tank top and the last sentence. you just see a very care free girl. and the fact that the tank top is yellow somehow let's me see who this girl is a brilliant way.
<3 it,
emilea
and as i read over this again, i think about how this isn't a story. it's more of a character sketch. anyways,
<3
emilea
This is the first paragraph.
It goes straight into story after this.
what the heck is a hatchback?
I thought it was just called the truck bed. But whatever. Really good so far, obviously. I want more! (just like ice cream)
I was a little confused on the part about her spinning in a hatchback, also.
I love the little detail about the glasses she took from his face. It says a lot about her character.
This whole thing is just really...pretty. I want to be there. I can feel the humidity on my skin. (And that's not just because it's freaking hot outside today)
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