A morning of careless chatter,
Bright smiles, and knowing looks
Bring a twinge of lightness to the
Atmosphere.
A dream of striped air balloons
Billowing into the sky almost
Breaks the perception of an indifferent
Attitude.
An after thought:
Barely seeing each other would
Burden me. So perhaps your
Absence would be best.
...
Although:
Blundering through life
Befuddling you with rejection
Also seems rather absurd.
Do you see the pattern? i wanted to make fun of rhyming schemes...anyways. thoughts?
emilea
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3 comments:
My thoughts are ABBA. There are also other thoughts, but I won't be able to share them until next week, sadly. I'll write them down, though, so I don't forget
ABBA!! That's really entertaining, but my thought process upon seeing it is not 'rhyme scheme', but rather, 'european disco music/mamma mia/dominic the dancing queen/he snicker lay all your love on me/dirtydirty cringe'.
Which I'm sure makes no sense to you... anyway. I really like this poem. Since your doing a short story for the application, could I just steal your poetry? Kidding. Of course.
I particularily like the last two stanzas (the break between them is brilliant) but I love the opening lines about careless chatter as well. You're awesome. Sorry I'm not of much help right now. Mood. Gah.
Love you
Caroline
I like the scheme, for sure. It works really well and it's new. I haven't really seen anything like this before, which is always the best thing about poetry.
I love the ... break between the third and fourth stanzas and really like the second guessing. The third stanza is an after thought, but the fourth stanza is an even after-er thought. I like that. It's clever, if it was intention, and still clever if it wasn't.
Once again, you choose your words well. You are an amazing poet. Love love love this one.
In fact, I just printed it out and am going to post it on my new shiny corkboard/dry-erase board. It's very empty and needs to look busy. This seems like a good first thing to put on there.
Heather
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